let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
