this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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