I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I will pee on everything he values.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize
