like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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