Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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