i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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