We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize