Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
