Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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