Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
