Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Randomize
