I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just invented taco cereal.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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