he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
