just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize