I wish I could punch you in the face.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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