Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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