whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
thus making me awesome and them whores
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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