I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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