Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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