Only a mothe r could love this liver
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
