I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
