I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I am full of burrito and curiosity
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
