my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize