ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
