ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
