puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
