I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
