We're facebook friends in real life
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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