going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
