there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize