Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
