I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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