then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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