So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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