there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
