listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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