weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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