my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize