im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
