Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I need to stop coming to work sober
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize