What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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