I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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