I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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