So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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