The maid of honor just puked.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize