I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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