I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My bed smells like the plague
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
