Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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