clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
