So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
