well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize