his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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