I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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