Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize