only if we run a train.
done.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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