You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize