i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
