8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you guys were way drunker than both of me
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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