wrigley field is MILF paradise
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
