Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just want nice things and good sex
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
