Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
me + whiskey = a bad person
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
