Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
