Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
