I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
