omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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