Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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