sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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