mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
