she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
