even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
