I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
