I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
