she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
