I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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