You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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