:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
