Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
