Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just gift wrapped bread.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
