I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
