Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize