i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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