She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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