I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
